34-year-old dad forbids ex-wife from putting a tracker on their 10-year-old son while he travels out of the country with him: 'I think she wants to be able to track me.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Nov 17, 2025 2:00 PM EST

She has a history of stalking, and he's the one with primary custody.

Our culture has become increasingly comfortable with the idea of constantly having access to our friends, partners, and family members' locations. The "Find My Friends" feature on your phone is useful, especially if you're about to meet someone. You can see if they're actually "5 minutes away" like they said they are, or if they're just now leaving their house. It's also helpful to know if someone is at home if you want to call them unexpectedly, because if they're on the go, they will probably be less likely to pick up. 

Sometimes, you want to use "Find My Friends" in a way that is a little on the stalkerish side, and there's nothing inherently wrong with that, especially if your friends knowingly gave you lifetime access to their location. Sometimes you're just curious to know if your friend is at home, in the office, or at a secret third location, and usually there's no harm in checking that out. If you hate your friend's boyfriend and are inflicting harm upon yourself every time you see them at their boyfriend's place on "Find My Friends," it might be time to put it down.

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  • Father and son in car at Pitt Meadows in British Columbia, Canada
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
     

  • The mom in this story has a history of using tracking devices on her ex-husband, and now she wants to do that to her son, whom she doesn't have full custody of because of that history. 

  • Am I the bad guy for not allowing my ex to put an AirTag on our son?

    I (34m) have primary custody of my (10m) son. I am getting ready to take him on a trip out of the country. His mom (35f) is insisting on putting an AirTag on him so she knows where he is. I think the real reason is she wants to be able to track me.
    via u/Sad-War9956
  • For context when we first broke up she stalked me and it got to the point where a po had to be put into place. She is not allowed to contact me except through parenting app and custody exchanges have to be done at the local police department.
    via u/Sad-War9956
  • A man sitting at a desk with a desktop computer
    via Ahmet Kurt (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I told her I am uncomfortable with her having access to anything that can track where I am. She is insisting that it is for her piece of mind that her son is safe. I offered that I would get a AirTag and track it myself if it made her feel better but I would not give her access to track it.
    via u/Sad-War9956
  • She has said that I'm a horrible person. So aitah for not allowing her to put an AirTag on our son?
    via u/Sad-War9956
  • White and chrome plastic AirTag on a black surface
    via Daniel Romero

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Edit: i didn't expect this to get so many replies so fast so I wanted to add some information. I'm not sure if I used the correct terminology when mentioning her custody. She gets nothing decision making authority as her custody is only one week a month and has to be supervised by her mom at her mom's house. When
    via u/Sad-War9956
  • the exchange occurs if her mom is not present I can refuse to turn over our child. I'm not going to get into all the things she did but the judge said on the record the only reason she gets the one weekend a month was because she is the mother but i do not have to include her in any decisions about our child as long as I adhere to the custody agreement.
    via u/Sad-War9956
  • Yes the trip is a vacation as I want my son to experience other cultures. I do not need his mom's permission to take him anywhere.
    via u/Sad-War9956
  • Lastly yes I am legally in the right to not allow her to track him while on vacation. My question is am I morally in the right. I wouldn't have an issue if I didn't feel like she was just using this as an excuse to track me. I don't think she would go as far as following me to another country but she has followed me hundreds of miles from the town we live in within the country we live so it's not out of the question.
    via u/Sad-War9956
  • BulbasaurRanch NTA She doesn't get to decide to track you while on vacation. She adds the tag, you remove it and leave at home. She can have the tag on during his custody time, not during yours.
    via u/BulbasaurRanch
  • Ok_Seaweed4043 If anyone should have the AirTag tracking info, it's you. What can she do from another country? This makes no sense, I think it's clear she just wants to keep tabs on you. ΝΤΑ
    via u/Ok_Seaweed4043
  • Angry_GorillaBS NTA. And guaranteed she will try and hide one on him anyway
    via u/Angry_GorillaBS
  • JewelerZestyclose143 NTA. Document this in court. You gave a valid compromise. Also she can get him a flip phone for contact while he's gone if she does want to speak to him on her own or something
    via u/JewelerZestyclose143
  • stoic_yakker Search everything, she's going to try anyway. There's precedent. NTA
    via u/stoic_yakker
  • CivMom So I'm worried if you say no then she won't let you take him out of the country. What other way could she feel reassured? is there one? I know it's hard when you are dealing with unreasonable people, but she also holds some power here. You could agree to use one and then the battery die... just saying.
    via u/CivMom
  • Automatic-Lychee-301 honestly giving her access would just be opening the door to more stalking. protect yourself first.
    via u/Automatic-Lychee-301
  • Mrs_B- For a quiet life, get it from her, leave it at home and say you "forgot" it. Nothing she can do and she can drive herself crazy whilst you are away.
    via u/Mrs_B-
  • Green Poet_5510 This is terrifying on so many levels. As a mother I understand her apprehension. As a grown adult I'm creeped out by her willingness to take away her child's privacy. My guess is she's told her son to keep the AirTag with him and to lie to you about it. When you pick him up at the police station have them scan your son and his bags. Then leave the tag with them. Have your son call his mom everyday and send photos. Compromise without the creep
    via u/Green_Poet_5510
  • Eggplantlll4927 you have primary custody. you don't want to be tagged. what are you willing and able to do while in a different country? is there anything you should do? like a weekly/daily check in? if you have primary custody you are well within your rights to tell her to kick rocks.
    via u/Eggplantlll4927

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